1. |
happy gaze
00:27
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2. |
liver
03:18
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shedding potentialities like crash-test dummies/ fact check mummies/ whip-lash/ cryptic mismatch/ now my brains all runny/ stained my undies/ jerking off bemusedly/ hopefully my muse can't see/ cuz im trying to make it on the music scene/ lose this/ cinderella type sixth sense that the shoe fits/ barefoot type vulnerability only broken beer bottles can damage/ open wounds are my means of transport so i keep vodka in my jansport/ as a first and last resort/ drunk driving crashed the hope-pinned prototype/ pandora's bottle opened- ain't a twist-off/ hope persists at an artistic distance as long as im guzzling shit that makes me restless contemplating going wristless/ suicide as a cosmetic fetish/ prosthetic blemish/ david cronenberg comes to mind/ head blows up like 'scanners'/ my mom bought me a planner/ so i can be unemployed on time
mistook fish-hooks for axioms/ it's like catch and release: immediate suffocation at the moment of supposed transcendence/ searching for semblance/ in emotional idioms/ but the order's hidden/ i can only access it when im hiding/ under a table/ life has meaning when i hold it at a distance/ hands quivering i should drink/ less
i am a liver, filtering out poison- so the greater organism stays intoxicated.
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3. |
like antennas to heaven
03:06
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relish that loneliness/ hold up a boney fist/ like a lightning rod/ like fight the power/ but also lord/ im begging to be smoted/ fighting gods/ futile/ whether or not he exists/ suck my sugar-coated throat/ im begging to be smitten/ call the porno fire department/ my sex kittens/ up a tree/ woe is me / the displaced subject of poetry
we're all in this together/ i mean that in the blankest sense possible/ the recognition shared by former friends who meet again in a mental hospital/ fossilized mollusks with lotsa gills/ memorys like an imprint in something else: a sense of something lost/ maybe under wraps/ im sucking sap/ out of a tree amidst the thunder-claps/ if lightning strikes/ death will be sweet and anonymous/ the tree and i will fall and i won't hear a thing/ violent silence, that unheard, teeming silence/ dew trickles across my corpse gleaming in defiance
greeting the new day with the stench of decay
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4. |
intrinsic erasure
03:36
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the day to day is paper thick/ thinner actually at the gas station with the scratch and sniff: smells like an impasse/ it's fun to lose the lottery/ feeling like an unburnt effigy/ like an unburnt effigy/ light a match and set me free/ defacements the finality/ buy tickets to watch me/ erase my masterpiece/ painstakingly/ blank pages with/ traces of/ perhaps/ a fall from greatness get/ drunk and formulate this/ redundancy theory/ over and over/ im too careful totaled my car cuz i looked over my shoulder/ 'thank god i have good insurance' i said later while crying for other reasons/ agent of entropy left a 5% tip cuz the steak was under-seasoned
struggle to hear me rephrase my redundancy theory/ im never leaving the basement/ watch the meteorologist strictly for entertainment/ live inside a metaphor until it collapses/ he flaps his/ wings/ boy are my arms tired/ punchlines meet fates more silent than crickets/ flick the/ cigarette ash into the subwoofer and watch it dance to the tv figureheads chants/ om mani padme ipad ihome dry hump some fried lumps i bought from ihop/ im off topic/ did you say 'universal language' or 'universal anguish'?/ catch me watching march of the penguins while the maids complain in spainglish
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5. |
||||
(al)
latch-key kid searching for a wacky tabbacy imaginary lackey/ ghosts of ecstasy sneak through the locksmith's fact-sheet
(al)
seduction and defeat/ reductio method/ absurdums kinda rampant/ dag nabbit/ positing the future/ explaining away the past/ got a diary full of apologies and graphs
(al)
skins too thin, well, it's tracing paper/ got a pack of stencils and colored pencils/ trying to reproduce my/ insides on my outsides/ if you embraced me later the ink might smudge, what if im just a waste of paper
(al)
treacherous stasis/ fated to become fateless/ waiting to become weightless/ trade a/ handful of sand/ for a handful of cum/ that staggeringly dumb ghost in the iron lung
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6. |
chet baker sings
01:18
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whirling dervish prowling phantom planet's surface/ trying to avoid the nervous/ and the anxious/ trying to remain blameless/ and therefore thankless/ and therefore worthless/ and therefore it doesn't matter that you heard this/ attempt to rekindle the magic of our first, second and third kiss/ the difference between prophetic and pathetic is only a few letters/ the difference between my enemies and me isnt much better/ touch feathers/ of the minerva owl/ making her nightly flight into satan's bowels/ you can come along but bring a towel
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7. |
reincarnation blues
03:34
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political emancipation feeds on social alienation/ and loneliness breeds irrelevancy because celibacy is relatively/ holy/ relative only/ to the soft smile of satan/ which gospel you follow dictates which line you wait in/ when you reach the end get referred to another department/ the human organism can only take so much/ starkness/ bureaucracy is endless/ existence precedes essence/ so my being here is senseless/ but depression begs me to ask questions which heighten the tension between/ hegelian variables/ philosophy as personal pathology/ which is the roots of teleology/ which is the root of my longing for love and death/ which i forget about promptly when confronted with love or death/ pamphleteers and prophets keep up their crazy pace/ but after all we're 'bodies in original space, waiting for the shot to sound'/ delillo's got this down/ moses herzog, patron saint of redemption/ if somethings fucked then it's too fucked to mention
the pain disappears once you actualize/ facts once implanted morph into factual lies/ once the fax machine dies i'll buy a new one at officemax/ its a miracle i can still play the role even though my soul fell through all the cracks/ cat/ when it comes to curiosity/ nine lives: something like the false eternity of limited reincarnation/ diminishing returns of revelations/ wishing on stars that died a while ago/ but i still catch their light at this rest stop in bumfuck idaho/ dumb fuck, i dont know/ abysses keep my interest in a transgressive way, in a silent way/ miles davis plays the silence
caught a heap of corpses out the corner of my eye/ every moment i spend casually remorseless my life grows more distorted
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8. |
brain-dead megaphone
01:37
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good evening, im an agent of inarticulate sadness/ here to muddle the situation trying to make these struggles feel elaborate/ sparring w donnie darko rabbits/ marco polo blind lead blind lose control-o/ want to open my eyes, not to cheat, but to sneak a peek at a pair of swimsuit season teats/ dont see a future in higher learning but feel a duty to heat the seats/ another disappointment sitting around waiting to be anointed/ by the god of slackers as this generation's samuel taylor coleridge/ sprinkle saltine crackers in my porridge/ cuz im an american and my one demand is/ blandness/ woody guthrie, man, this/ land is not arable/ post 9-11 strangers in afghanistan hunting down arabs, still
hatred is self-hatred/ investigate humanity's worst crimes just to find im implcated/ but/ i wear my original sin with a shit-eating grin/ keep my shit turned up to ten until the cops come in
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9. |
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(Clavius Crates)
fallin, fallin/ shes afraid of intimacy/ im afraid of missing a beat/ so im leafing through the autobiography of malcolm x/ refining my calculus of learned helplessness: trying to appear 'interesting'/ these sonnets are too autoerotic/ ass-fixated/ kissing your feet/ let me worship you/ hop in my foxhole please/ make me believe/ make believe/ i'll rake the leaves and you'll do the dishes/ give me that/ old time religion/ abort this unintended/ pregnant silence
i spit stillbirths/ and at night/ pilfer peace from the still earth
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10. |
stormy weather
01:12
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11. |
reincarnation reprise
01:14
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Since the universe became lawless I find solace worshipping this probabilistic obelisk/ in the tower of babel I was christened/ a deadbeat pretend novelist/ teeth tear apart red meat while the mind remains static/ alcoholic in the attic with a manuscript worthy of the maggots/ legs wobblin’ pants saggin/ thoughts so dirty you can’t even imagine/ I fashioned a magic wand out of unobserved sadness and chewing gum/ best minds of my generation were ruined, um/ by madness/ check the defenestration/ come crashing down into a demonstration protesting deforestation/ post-modern/pretentious/ so close yet so far the truth is mere inches/ it doesn’t really matter/ the smaller the distance the sadder the rapper/ the more real the disappointment/ the murkier the psychiatrist’s ointment
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12. |
prolegomena to no future
02:25
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fitting in pretty well cuz im wearing camouflage/ trying to decide between love and self-sabotage/ brains legislating amidst the rabid dogs/ im in prison trying to establish laws/ the internet told me that thats called love/ im on the internet because i dont know how to love/ reading the wikipedia page for love/ porn in another tab/ i stutter, bad/ chasm grand like the canyon not my mothers dad/ torrenting six jim jarmusch movies/ hunched over the laptop like/ moth toward light/ this soft core life/ is somewhere between sophomore slump and senioritis/ the worlds a stage and backlit screens can distract the actors/ 2013 relaxed disasters/ watching buildings smolder on my iphone 4/ then get a text from her saying 'i love you more'
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13. |
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Dad chased ambulances/ I chase hearses/ funerals can be surprising too/ broaden yr horizons dude/ her eyes met mine and…/ nevermind I cant describe it/ love’s a beautiful stranger/ wait fuck that/ uncertainty’s a dutiful ranger/ sorry I only fuck muskrats/ muckracking rapping documenting inner scrimmages/ I come to from convulsions and hear slow clapping//// Dad chased ambulances/ I chase hearses/ counting blessings sure but I got these gypsy curses/ out the corner of my eye I saw satan, he winked and/ said death isn’t real, only extinction/ the devil’s lost in thought/ so I’ll throw pebbles into ponds until he comes to some conclusions
treat me like jains/ sweeping ants out of their path/ i'll go insane trying to figure out how insignificant i am
time waits for no man/ examining a fractal/ im hurling beer cans out of my back pack riding a fucking pterodactyl/ like focus group ideas, they 'bounce off' the mortals/ im in bed curled up so fetal to fit back through the portal
Dance with me, misanthropy/ got a stash of phantoms that don’t show up on the balance sheet/ Richie valens plummets to the next life like a crow with itchy talons/ can’t scratch it/ im just a black kid who raps bad/ im just a white kid who hates life/ this is a great life/ but I’ve got stage-fright/ im sweatin through my costume off stage right/ what a grave sight/ you won’t see me at my grave site/ I missed my cue/ I shit my pants/ Shellshocked kid hopefully someday ill be the shell of a man/ between writing sessions im fighting obsessions/ it’s the cold war, bitch, the grocery store small talk makin sure my bomb shelters well stocked/ populist anxieties, reasons to cry at night/ the more inexplicable the more inextricable/ I want to ignore mushroom clouds while kissing you/ I have e. t. wrists/ exsqueeze me miss/ im being obtuse/ its not a ruse im just confused
Old conundrum/ can’t bloody my wrists with occam’s razor/ can’t dumb down the humdrum/ numbness has its own excellence, as Aristotle might tweet/ grinning behind the smokescreen of defeat/ Merriam webster’s two definitions of conceit/
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14. |
afterthoughts
00:39
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